Why?

 

myfourfaces


Why start a blog? It’s a question I have agonized over a great deal over the last few months. I mean, I realize that I don’t have much to offer the world. I don’t live in a big house that would inspire anyone to redecorate their own sacred space. I don’t have a wardrobe to rival a fashion runway. In fact, I don’t particularly care for clothes. I don’t have mad make-up skills, or hair even long enough to put in a fashionable up do. I don’t have a lengthy resume detailing the amazing career I’ve honed over the years as a master of all things. Actually, it’s the opposite. I’ve spent that last decade or so having kids, raising kids, and trying not to kill said kids.

So….

Why?

Because, yes, while I don’t particularly have much to offer the world, I do have a lot to offer myself. And if anything, this blog is for me. For me to find out who I am in a world that I don’t particularly fit in to.

And that’s precisely what I want to do. I want to add meaning to my life by valuing the things that make me…well, me. All of glorious, uncomfortable, inside out me.

You see, I’ve spent years trying to figure out what to figure out. It doesn’t work. I’ve tried. It’s no fun. I just find myself wondering if I’ve got the right shoes on. Or, you know, if there’s toilet paper sticking out of my pants.

And I really, really don’t have time for that.

I recently read a book that talked about finding value and meaning in life. The author stated that without guts, there’s no glory. Okay, he didn’t use those exact terms, but I like the sound of that better, and it comes easier to mind than searching across the internet for the right phrase.

And that brings me back here to why?

Because I am going to make the sacrifice and put myself out there. I’m going to put my thoughts, actions, words, and opinions out there in an effort to be true to myself, and to show the world that I am not scared of it. I’m going to value me. And that is going to give me meaning. I am not meaningless, after all, if I don’t fit in. I just mean something different.

This blog probably won’t be perfect. It probably won’t be gorgeous to look at. Nor will it inspire a new fashion craze. It won’t sell you anything crafty, or trendy, or handy. It will, however, be brave, and bold, and maybe sometimes a bit of beautiful. At least to me. Because it will be mine.

My categories won’t involve words like lifestyle, interior design, fashion, makeup, crafts. I am going to study archaeology, history, psychology, writing, and ways to cope with wild animal children. I am going to vent out my soul, and figure out who I am. And some of my opinions might not jive with yours. And that’s okay, because I’m okay with that. Being brutally honest with one’s self isn’t easy work.

Is this going to be a super popular mommy blog? No, probably not. But it is a blog for a mommy that is tired of holding everything inside in order to kind-of, sort-of fit in.

It’s time to admit it, GollyJess, you are you. And that’s all you’ll ever be. And that might not be such a bad thing after all.

One thought on “Why?

  1. I love this Jess!
    I feel so similar it’s crazy! I lost so much of who I am over the last 5 years. They say in your 30’s one becomes more confident and secure in who they were. I’m the exception to that rule. I was a confident badass in my 20’s and an really struggling with identity and self worth in my 30’s! Hopefully you finding you will spark something in me. I’ve been trying to get my spark back for years, but it’s still in hiding.

    Liked by 1 person

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